is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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