Whats the glycemic index on semen?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
