Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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