You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
