I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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