If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
