Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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