How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
