I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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