you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
