That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
