o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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