You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
