Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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