i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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