Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
