Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize