Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
