Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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