Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
