what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
