oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize