Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
