watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
