I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
