how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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