Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
