He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
