yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
