singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
