He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
