I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
