I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
