Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
"it" just moved
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
