Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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