you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
