nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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