the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize