I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
