Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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