PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
