Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
