I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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