I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
