Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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