He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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