I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize