I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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