Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
