he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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