Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize