I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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