We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
