i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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