After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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