I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
