i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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