I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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