Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
