I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
