dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
