So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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