I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
