i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
that may or may not have been my penis.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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